Forbidden love
by NinjaxOfxThexNight
Summary: When Kaoru finds that he is in love with Hikaru, how will he be able to admit to his brother the truth. While Kaoru is in depression Hikaru falls ill. This could be the perfect opertunity to finally come clean and tell his twin what is on his mindR&R plea
1. Chapter 1

Forbidden Love-

A/N: This is my first ouran high school host club fic and I haven't watched that many episodes of the show, so I'm doing my best and going on wikapedia to get information. Tell me if I wrote something wrong and I'll go and fix it but b gentle! I'm really sorry if anyone is OOC but I'm trying so don't get too mad at me if they are!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran high school host club

XOXOXOXOXOX

Chapter one-

Hikaru and Kaoru stood in the back of the group as they watched girls filter into the room through the giant doors that were being held open by paid servants. Trying to look as attractive as ever Hikaru leaned against Kaoru's shoulder moving his face closer to his brother's identical one.

The beautiful girls stopped in front of the six members of the host club blushing intensely, nervous to be in the presence of such handsome and popular boys. Some fixed their makeup hastily while others grabbed onto one another and squealed under their breath.

"Welcome my fair maidens!" Tamaki, the leader of the club, greeted the girls politely, and with grace he bent over and bowed to them. "Please, let us entertain you for the day" stepping forward Tamaki grabbed one of the girls white gloved hands and kissed it pulling his head up to wink at her before gently tugging her forward, beckoning her to follow along with all the other girls that stood watching with red faces and glistening eyes.

Slowly Hikaru stepped forward and took the hand of a girl before following the king of the host club towards the back of the third band room that no one had used for its' proper use in ages. Kaoru followed suit and stayed close to his sibling.

Ever since they were little Kaoru had not liked being separated from his twin brother, and Kaoru knew that Hikaru felt the same way.

No one had been able to break the two brothers a part; they had not even let other students become their friends, afraid that it would have loosened their brotherly bond.

The other host club members grabbed a lady or two and followed Tamaki to the back of the large room where a couple of couches were placed, making an ideal place for drinking tea.

Kaoru sighed as he watched Hikaru bend over and whisper something into the brown haired girl's ear, making her giggle and turn red.

Something had been on Kaoru's mind and he just couldn't get it out of his head. Kaoru began to pour the steaming tea into the girls' cups, not paying much attention to what he was doing.

It was Hikaru that he was worried about. Hikaru had been spending just as much time with him as usual but the more than obvious crush Hikaru had on Haruhi was getting worse and making Kaoru worry about the brotherly love that the twins had for each other.

Lost in his thought Kaoru didn't notice the hot liquid begin to pour over the top of the cup and onto the silver platter it rested on.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru questioned in a worried voice watching his brother's melancholy expression turn to surprise as a drop of the drink landed on his skin burning his slender finger.

Letting out a slight gasp Kaoru hastily clattered the pot down on the wooden table and held his burning finger to his chest.

"Oh Kaoru, does it hurt?" Hikaru lovingly grabbed Kaoru's hand and took the reddening finger and placed it to his moist lips sucking on it to cool the burn. (1)

The two girls sitting on the couch couldn't hold it in any longer. They both let out a girlish squeal.

"Their brotherly love is so beautiful!" both girls cried in unison watching Hikaru gingerly holding Kaoru's burnt finger to his mouth.

One reason why Kaoru loved coming to the host club was the fact that he and Hikaru could act like lovers, and aside from the squealing fan girls Kaoru enjoyed the days he spent in the host club very much.

He knew he shouldn't be feeling this way towards a guy let alone his brother but Kaoru couldn't help it. It was a very different kind of love that no one would actually accept. The only reason why the ladies enjoyed watching their little performances each day was because they just thought it was brotherly love. He was sure that if they knew he was in love with his own brother they would not be so keen on coming back to the host club.

Kaoru sighed for the millionth time that day. He would never have Hikaru as a lover, just a very close brother. The love he wanted was forbidden.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Haruhi sat at the large dining room table, sipping on the instant coffee Tamaki had poured for her before he had pranced off telling her that he had a surprise.

Some how, Haruhi had a very good idea about what that surprise was going to be. Her thoughts were interrupted as the doors burst open, revealing the handsome blonde haired king that stood in the door way, carrying a very lacy, skimpy looking dress in his hands.

"Haruhi! I have returned for you!" Tamaki just had to make a dramatic entrance. "Daddy has picked out the perfect outfit for you!"

Haruhi just gave him a glare as he held up the small pink dress in his hands with a large smile. After seeing the agitated expression on Haruhi's face the smile disappeared off of his and was replace with a scared one.

Afraid for his life, Tamaki dropped the dress and took his seat at the table with out another word.

"Have you noticed that Kaoru has been acting different?" Haruhi questioned taking a bite of the salad the waiters had set in front of them.

"I suppose he has been acting a bit more quiet than he normally does but I wouldn't worry about it." Tamaki said

Haruhi sighed and went back to her salad not noticing Tamaki staring at her and blushing.

'She's so cute!' Tamaki thought

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Hikaru and Kaoru walked down the hallways of the school towards the dorms where they normally slept in during the school year (2)The corridor was silent except for the slight echoing of the two trudging down the hall way.

Hikaru kept glancing over at Kaoru. He looked so depressed, even at the host club he had been acting a little off, but Hikaru wasn't sure if he should break the silence or not.

Finally he couldn't take it any more. The silence was so loud and he just had to know what was bothering his brother.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru began choosing his words carefully as not to distress his brother or put any pressure on him to answer the question he was about to ask, "Are you ok? You seem to be depressed," Hikaru paused.

Kaoru had not looked up from the carpeted ground once, while Hikaru was talking. "I just wanted you to know that whatever is bothering you, you can tell me," Hikaru ended his sentence and put his hands in his pockets and looked over at Kaoru almost expecting not to get an answer from his quiet brother.

Kaoru's mouth opened slowly as if he wasn't sure how to answer the question. 'How would Hikaru take it if he knew I liked him more than a brother?' pondering what his next move was he cautiously began to speak.

"It's nothing, don't worry about me I'll be fine." Hikaru was disappointed that Kaoru hadn't told him what was on his mind but prying into the subject would probably only make things worse.

After the few minutes that seemed like hours, the two twins arrived at the dorm room. Hikaru let out two dry coughs before sliding the key into the lock and turned it, opening the door and stepping into the rather spacious room. He flicked on the light switch.

The white walls were decorated with beautiful paintings, and a king sized bed sat in the center of the room. Other doors led out of the room to a bathroom and a second bedroom that was currently unoccupied since the two brothers normally slept in the same bed.

Hikaru couldn't wait to go and lay down on the soft bed. Even though it was only around 8:30 pm Hikaru was exhausted, and his throat felt like a razor had gone up and down it, leaving harsh, angry red cuts. 'I must be coming down with a cold' Hikaru coughed a couple more times.

Stumbling to the bath room Hikaru brushed his teeth quickly. He didn't even bother to get into his normal velvet pajamas he wore to bed every night. Just sliding off his school uniform, he collapsed on the bed in his grey boxers falling asleep the minute he touched the pillow.

Kaoru watched his older sibling sleep letting his eyes rest on Hikaru's slightly flushed face. His bare chest shimmered with sweat that glistened in the dim light as it moved up and down with each breath.

Kaoru pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor next to the desk, and pulled on a pair of gray sweat pants on, leaving his top half exposed so he wouldn't get too hot during the night. Lightly he sat on the bed and slid under the covers carefully so wouldn't wake Hikaru.

"I'll tell you someday, but not today," Kaoru whispered turning off the lamp next to the bed.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

(1): I know I know that happened in an episode but it just seemed right for the moment

(2): I didn't know if they slept in dorms or not when I wrote this fic and it would b too confusing to change it so they do sleep in dorms in this fic mk.

A/N: It will pick up the pace and the chapters will be longer I swear! Just please review this! Tell me its good or it's like crap or needs much improvement just please review! cuz I'm not too keen on updating stories that have very few reviews! so if u want me to update it click that nifty little button down there and leave a little somethin somethin!;D

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	2. Chapter 2

Forbidden love-

A/N: I revised the first chapter again just so ya no. not sure if it is much better but I changed a couple of things. Sorry it took me so long to update my computer is being stupid and I lost internet connection for the longest time kicks computer anyway hope u enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own ouran high school host club!

Chapter 2-

The digital clock beeped and buzzed as the sun peeked through the window, casting rays of golden light over the soft blue covers on the bed. Kaoru lifted the blanket over his head and dropped his hand on the 20 minute snooze button.

He didn't want to get up today. Thoughts about Hikaru had been buzzing through his aching head all night and had kept him from sleeping. He slid the covers down slightly, exposing his green eyes, and looked up at the white ceiling. He sighed; he didn't know how he could ever get out of the rut he had fallen into.

Reluctantly Kaoru pushed himself off the bed and sat up, and let out a yawn, extending his arms and stretching. If he didn't start getting more sleep, the already dark circles under his eyes would start to become a problem.

He trudged out of bed and into the clean bathroom that was in the dorm room. Kaoru sighed as he looked at his disgruntled reflection that stared back at him. Kaoru yawned again before opening up the cabinet behind the mirror to get his tooth past.

He reached into the cabinet to grab his tooth brush but hesitated when he saw what was next to it. A sharp razor sat on the shelf. It was so tempting and it would be so easy.

Kaoru let his slender fingers grasp the metal handle and pull it off the shelf. Staring down at the pale skin on his wrist Kaoru brought the razor to the exposed flesh. He pressed it lightly, barely scraping the skin. Kaoru could almost imagine the blood pouring from his wrists onto the tiled bathroom floor, surrounding him in a pool of crimson.

It almost seemed too easy, ending it right there and then. He put a little more pressure on the blade and let it nick his skin, barely doing any damage. The slight pain felt like heaven and a small smile played on Kaoru's lips.

Suddenly Kaoru jerked the razor blade away, reviling the small scrape that wasn't even bleeding.

"No," Kaoru said as he looked at the razor in his hand that he had been ready to end his life with. "How could I even let such a stupid thought cross my mind?" Kaoru couldn't even believe what he had been thinking about.

"How could I be so selfish?" he felt sick, how could he have done that to Hikaru? Maybe he didn't love him the way Kaoru wanted him to, but he did care about him.

"He would be devastated if I killed myself," Kaoru let a single tear slip through his closed eye lids and down his soft cheek. He felt like crawling under a rock and never coming out.

More tears streaked down his face, leaving shimmering trails of salt water. Kaoru put his back up against the wall and slide down, throwing the razor under the sink.

He buried his face in his knees and cried. He let his feelings pour out with his sobs. Kaoru was surprised that Hikaru hadn't even woken up from all the noise he was making.

Letting out a couple more sobs, Kaoru looked up at the clock that was sitting on the desk next to the bed. The vibrant red numbers read 7:10.(i)

If he didn't start getting ready then he would be late since it always took him a while to get his hair the way he wanted it to, unlike Hikaru who took less than two minutes to get ready.

Wiping the streaks off of his face he got up off the floor and started to get ready, giving an evil glance towards the metal handle that stuck out from under the sink before kicking it under all the way under.

Soon enough Kaoru had his school uniform and his hair perfect. He looked at the lump in the bed where Hikaru was sleeping. Picking up his book bag he walked out of the door.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Hikaru woke with a start as the alarm clock went off. The annoying buzzing rang through his head. Rolling over with a lot of effort, Hikaru noticed that he was alone in the bed, and he didn't notice any sounds coming from the bathroom. Kaoru must have already left.

Hikaru felt awful! Last night it had just been a sore throat, but now it felt like his head was filled with cotton. His throat hurt even more than it had the night before, and he felt very nauseous.

Half of him wanted to get up, but the other half protested as he made a feeble attempt to push himself off the bed, making his stomach jerk, threatening to release anything that was in it.

He just couldn't miss school today. A big meeting was being held at the host club, and staying in the dorm all day would not help him warm up to Kaoru to try and find out what was wrong with him and making him act so depressed.

Making up his mind, Hikaru got out of bed and dizzily walked to the bathroom trying to shake off his nausea. Black spots appeared in front of his eyes, blocking his vision. A wave of nausea jolted his stomach again.

Hikaru doubled over, clutching his stomach with one hand and putting the other clammy hand over his mouth, desperately trying to keep whatever was in his stomach down. Practically falling to his knees, Hikaru grabbed onto the door frame in the bathroom and stumbled forward bending down over the toilet and retched. He gave a few dry heaves, managing to only bring up saliva and water.

Grasping the edge of the toilet bowl tighter, Hikaru frantically tried to take short breaths of air in between each heave, having much difficulty. It felt like his lungs were going to explode if he didn't get a breath of air.

Hikaru could have sworn he felt his heart stop before he could finally take a deep breath of air.

The black spots returned, dancing in front of his blurred vision as he staggered out of the bathroom trying to keep his balance but doing a very poor job of it.

If he could just get to the phone then he could call Kaoru's cell phone. It seemed so far away. With each step he took his feet felt heavier, like weights were being attached as he moved his legs forward.

Hikaru fought for consciousness, while his dizzy spell fought to bring him down. The dots that obstructed his vision finally took over and every thing went black. Hikaru's body went limp, as he collapsed onto the floor, landing on his side, panting heavily.

Hikaru's lips twitched as he tried to speak "Kaoru," Hikaru mouthed the word but nothing came out.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Kaoru tapped his fingers on the wooden desk he sat in, barely listening to the monotone voice of the teacher. He kept glancing at the empty desk next to him.

Hikaru was not the lightest sleeper but he would never sleep through the alarm clock. Maybe he just turned off the alarm on accident and fell back asleep. Kaoru tried to sooth his mind with the many possibilities of why Hikaru had not showed up for class, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was very, very wrong.

Kaoru was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the angry science teacher calling his name.

"Kaoru, are you paying attention?" He was answered with a blank stair out the window. The teacher walked forward as the rest of the class watched silently.

"KAORU" the teacher screamed, slamming a ruler onto Kaoru's desk. The daydreaming student had not even heard the teacher saying his name but now he had his full attention.

Kaoru was so surprised that he fell back in his chair.

Waving his arms frantically trying to grab something to catch his fall, Kaoru grabbed the desk and brought it down with him. Papers scattered and fluttered around the classroom before settling around Kaoru. The whole class was laughing, while the teacher stood over him, not looking very impressed.

"I suggest you pay better attention next time." The teacher said, as a blush spread across Kaoru's face, as he began to pick up the papers on the floor.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Kaaaaaaoru!" Haruhi called from down the hall way, waving her hands. Next to her was Tamaki, Honey, and Mori. Haruhi was wearing her regular boy's uniform.

Kaoru forced a small smile to spread across his lips as he waved back and walked towards his friends.

"Kaoru what happened to you?" Haruhi questioned as she looked up and down at his crooked tie and messed up hair.

"Nothing," Kaoru forced another smile "I'm just not having a very good day. Science wasn't very fun; I swear that teacher has it in for me." Kaoru laughed, but inside he felt like crying. He really was having a horrible day.

First he had been having suicidal thoughts and then being embarrassed in front of his entire class, and on top of that, he was worried about Hikaru, even though he probably just over slept. Kaoru was normally over protective of Hikaru, and showed he cared for his older sibling.

"Where is Hikaru?" Honey asked glancing around the halls looking to see if he was walking towards them of just lost in the crowds of students.

"I think he over slept, in fact, I'm on my way to go check and see if he's still sleeping, Bye" Kaoru turned and waved flashing another fake smile at his friends before letting his face be consumed with worry as he picked up his pace and headed towards the dorms.

Kaoru entered the long hallway that lead to his dorm, pulling out his key and sliding it into the lock once he got to the right door. Turning the key Kaoru opened the door and saw that the lights were on, indicating Hikaru was awake, but the eerie silence only made Kaoru more worried about his twin.

Moving quickly into the room Kaoru called out to his brother. "Hikaru," Kaoru walked to the bed that was empty.

'Where could he be?' Kaoru caught sight of something in his peripheral vision as he turned to check in the bathroom. Lying on the other side of the bed was a very still form. Kaoru's eyes widened as he took in what he saw.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru ran to Hikaru's side and dropped to his knees onto the carpet. He laid his hand gently on Hikaru's shoulder. He was so still Kaoru couldn't even tell if he was breathing. But when he looked closer he could see Hikaru's bare, sweat covered chest moved up and down.

The short breaths were very shallow and uneven but at least he was breathing at all. Another thing that Kaoru noticed was how hot Hikaru was to the touch. He was obviously burning up with a fever, and his hands felt like they had been soaking in ice cubes.

Whipping out his cell phone Kaoru dilled a number, praying Hikaru would be ok.

(1): I have no clue when the school starts so I made up a number that is close to when my school starts.

A/N: ok this chapter was not much longer than the first one but I think the pace picked up a little bit. Excuse my horrible spelling I had to post this chapter quickly because my computer was flipping out and if I didn't there was a possibility of everything getting deleted. I used spell check but sometimes it doesn't pick up all the mistakes. I suck at spelling as u can c so don't come down too hard on me for that. Uh oh Kaoru was having some suicidal thoughts there. You'll have to c what happens next time! HikaruxKaoru all the way!XD


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